I’m watching my friends age.

And they appear to be doing all the right things, yet they barely have life or freedom. They are bound by previous desires, ones we fulfilled without our actual consent, but by doing they believe consent was given. We filled the shoes they left us, discovered most of them were too small. We cramped our feet inside these small spaces and hunched over because the rooms we entered couldn’t hold us. We squeezed ourselves in between the old and the old, they thought we’d bring hope but we just did what we were told. Decades we evolved into your worries, we embodied them as anxiety, imagining one single future, our homes were just for society. We only had great possessions because we consumed everything that was hot, we stayed attached to these little rooms stood by as each of us got GOT.

I’m watching my friends age as they plan their next vacation, they think it will lead them to inner peace. They stress about their now, worried about their tomorrow. They don’t have any real aspirations except to work and buy a house, take their 2 weeks of vacation to go somewhere cool and take pics for the gram. They like it until they come back, they reflect on memories of what they wish could be. They go gray because they are stressed and never because they are wise. My parents told me before be free and travel, you’re young and you have time. Imagine I actually did that where would I actually be. Would I still feel the realness of freedom, or would I have a harder time with nationwide slavery.

I’m watching my friends age because they can’t say this out loud even if its how we really feel, people would be pissed that we’re not proud to live in this secure place. How dare we not be thankful for the opportunities before us, How dare we not work harder if we’re so unhappy. How taxing it is, to be taxed on how we really feel. But now I look crazy because I speak up about what we both can see.

Yo I’m tired all the time because I know I’m aging. My friends are hella old too, because they’re aging. Now all we want to do is take one amazing vacation, because we’re all so tired of living in the trap. A debt filled nation.

When you read this you can assume I’m ungrateful but I’m not. Has it ever crossed your mind that this isn’t just my thoughts? I speak to a lot of people and no one can put their finger on it, with all the dreams of our parents fulfilled we still haven’t found peace. Imagine wondering everyday where I went wrong and feeling guilt because you don’t want to blame your parents or your guardians for following their direction. I have to fight myself to be sane because I think our system is completely insane. I have one friend who really broke free and to me thats an entire shame, because the rest of us think we really got it and they never left their cage.

I’m still watching my friends age, and I’m doing the same.

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