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Life practice and stuff.

Embracing your Start Somewhere. — September 5, 2017

Embracing your Start Somewhere.

Oprah did it, Kendrick did it, Jay -z did it, even George Bush did it. Whether privileged or not the basics are the same, you have to start somewhere. There could be no existence of them without the choice to take the first step, no matter how big or small it appeared.
How I wish the magic wand would wave and all of my dreams would come true and how I can be where Oprah is after writing out my goals, but that in itself is not practical. Its so common to look at everyone else`s progression assuming they didn’t go through the same steps as us but even they will tell you, it took me years to get here and many steps along the way.

Taken on my recent flight back from Trinidad, this was within the first few minutes of take off.

Those years began with the start somewhere, one single first step and that’s where we often find ourselves with the most fear and worry. We quickly become discouraged by the somewhere equating it to struggle rather than a step and then we forget that Oprah was here too. To progress towards the dream, remind yourself that the start doesn’t have to be a struggle it`s simply a step which enables your start somewhere begin.

Here`s an example:

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You forgot the laptop charger in your bedroom upstairs, but if you don`t get it your computer will die and then there`s a chance you may lose part or all of the project you were working on unless you’re using google lol. You spend time thinking about the fact that you need to go upstairs, meaning you`ll have to expend energy to step up each step, rather than actually doing it, so in your mind you’ve built a story of struggle and wasted time lamenting on it. Your laptop tells you its at 7% so now it`s even more necessary to get the charger, but you`re still going through the story of struggling to go up the stairs while your mind begins rewiring itself to equate steps with struggle instead of a means to an end as you continue telling this story. You make the decision to finally go upstairs and get your charger. But now you`re even more frantic because the computer was on 4%  which means you`ll be using way more energy to run up the stairs, dash over to the outlet to unplug the chord only to get back downstairs to see your computer went to sleep, or shut down completely.

The frustration builds up because you knew in advance you just needed to go upstairs but you delayed the inevitable, wasted time thinking about it and now you have some extra work to do filling in what was lost.

Or Maybe your laptop stayed on and you got there just in time to save your work, let that be a lesson too, you were able to create a struggle when there wasn’t one in taking those steps to reach your goal or to reach what was important to pursuing your goals. The start somewhere is where its imperative to change your mind from struggle to steps.

 

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There was some turbulance, lots of clouds in the sky and underneath us, but the light was still shining on our pathway.

You can embrace your start somewhere, or you may have already started and feel the strain of feeling like you never move forward but if you believe in your dream enough to take any action then the great news is that you’ve not only started somewhere but you are living the start somewhere. This step doesn’t need to be one day or a week, it takes the time it needs, and since time isn’t linear take all the time you need. When years pass after working hard towards your dream and stepping up many stairs someone will also look at you and ask… How did you get there and you will be able to say, well I had to start somewhere.

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At some point you`ll get to cruising altitude where the steps become habits, and the start becomes the distant past of a beautiful journey.

This piece was inspired by a discussion with my cousin Ishmael who showed me that the start doesn`t have to be a struggle as much as it is steps.

8 lessons from my experience giving to the homeless. — August 25, 2017

8 lessons from my experience giving to the homeless.

After 13 years working and volunteering in community services it almost feels strange for me to say I’ve never had the experience of preparing lunch bags and handing them out to the homeless. I was scared at first, well mostly nervous because I didn’t know what to expect. We teamed up with our friends Kal who runs Compassion in Motion and Monique owner and CEO of 4 Accents clothing. Both women give back to the homeless on a monthly basis so they were experts in my eyes. They gave us advice to be aware that not everyone will be friendly or want what you’re offering but when you get to speak to some of the people and hear their stories you will forever be touched. They also sent some volunteers love notes and tips to help us understand the dynamic a little more as well.

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Two days before, Shawnna, my best friend and I shopped for what was needed we quickly realized just how good it felt to be in the position to give back. Fast forward to Sunday August 20th I felt tired as it was 9 am and I only slept for a few hours but deep inside the butterflies were finding its way back into my stomach while preparing lunch bags with fruits, snacks, juice, water and sandwiches. All these thoughts were building “How will this go?” “What if people are mean?” All these thoughts without any real logic behind it, but it felt sensible enough to get me to second guess a serious effort. Luckily, instead of being derailed the energy of the volunteers and the excitement to give back filled the room and the butterflies left.

Once we completed putting the bags together we drove downtown to Nathan Phillips Square, we met with Randell another volunteer who gave us a rundown of how to outreach and the route we’d take which was short from Nathan Phillips Square to Moss Park but at the same time long because we would meet so many inspiring people along the way. The first person I saw I asked Randell to approach because I wasn’t sure exactly what to do.

She said “Hello, how are you today?”

“I’m Randell whats’s your name?

“We’re handing out lunches, would you like one?”

And the conversation continued.

He was friendly and interested in talking to us. He said he’d be leaving on Wednesday to go to Vancouver, British Columbia and to St. Johns, Newfoundland for the next while because he felt sometimes you need to get out the city for a bit. We definitely could relate! He named about 30 states he had travelled to including visiting Key West but he also expressed his upset with the government for bringing in so many refugees and providing housing to them but not to the homeless. Although he was quite upset he stopped and said thank you for hearing me out and laughed.

“It’s nice what you’re doing I really appreciate it”. As he said that, Shawnna came over and asked what to do if someone wants to give money towards what we’re doing, and there was a lady who was offering $20.

Lesson 1: You don’t have to be on the frontlines to give back or create change, but compassion is an energy that attracts more compassion and people will feel that and want to be involved.

Lesson 2: You don’t need to believe everything, but you don’t have to communicate the energy of not believing. Let people tell their story because their truth doesn’t have to match yours.

Continuing our walk along Queen Street, we stopped at the intersection at Bay St. where I met Jeff.File_004

Jeff had a sign and no teeth, he had an amazing spot to ask for change and he had two notebooks with drawings. He appreciated the lunch bag and what we were doing as well. I asked what he was drawing and he showed us a few pictures explaining that they were skulls but not typical skulls, they were Alien skulls because he wanted to do something different. Randell asked if he ever sold it and he said one guy offered him $50 for it but he wasn’t finished so he said he couldn’t sell it to him, when I asked how come he said it wasn’t about the money it was about his integrity he wouldn’t feel right selling someone an unfinished picture especially because when you give someone your artwork it needs to be complete or they won’t get the entire piece. He also mentioned that he loved outer space, the stars, aliens and planets, he’s always loved that stuff. He said he’s so thankful to be able to draw, so thankful to be here living and able to see.

“I’m so thankful to have eyes to see the beauty of this world, you know we’re so lucky to have eyes.”

Jeff reminded us that we should be thankful to have every single thing we have. He said thank you for the conversation, most people don’t really talk to me but you guys are doing something great.

Lesson 3: Jeff is an Angel, and sometimes the most beautiful things come from seemingly hopeless places. I’m forever thankful to have met Jeff whether he remembers me or not.

Lesson 4: Conversation is an exchange of energy much less an exchange of words. Language should never enable us to limit the exchange of powerful energy as it does typically, feel the conversation and you will always receive a clear message.

Continuing along Queen Street, we stopped a few times to provide a water or a lunchbag, not everyone wanted to chat, we respected their wishes and moved along. When we arrived at Metropolitan Park there was a combination of patients from St. Micheal’s Hospital next door, the homeless and some people just grabbing a seat because it was a hot day. We walked up to a few people and stopped to say hello to Will and Tyrone aka Funky Tyrone (stage name). Will actually had an assortment of gifts for us to give Kal, because he wanted to show how much of an impact she had made on him. Tyrone was one of those cool cats, at least that’s the only way I could describe him so you get the picture he looked like a musician (which he was) and told us that he would be doing a show this Friday at Yonge and Eglinton. You could see they had a genuine friendship, Will shared that Tyrone taught him to play Chess and Tyrone chuckled that Will still can’t play but he was pretty bad before. They both had such a warm energy to them.

Will spoke about finding the church in front of us about 9 years ago when he was at his worst and it changed his life forever, he asked me if I believed in Jesus and I said, well I’m not sure but I believe he exists, and he said well I know everyone believes Jesus is so great but I believe Moses is really the one whose great because he had more powers. I said I understand what you mean by that I just believe we all can access the power of God within ourselves and that we can pull on different powers like superheroes, he said that’s right because we’re all energy and God is energy! See that’s why I like Batman, he was even stronger than superman. We continued to talk for at least 20 minutes before realizing the rest of the group left.

Lesson 5: The truth is quite simple, but our perspectives adjust it to become truer to ourselves and coupled with language we complicate it in a way where we find it difficult to understand and even harder to understand each other. Strip away the words and what you will always find is the word, the truth is that simple.

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Randell was caught up in a conversation with a man by the name of Olu (an older homeless man she met some years back) I joined her after saying goodbye to Will and Tyrone. We listened to Olu for another 10 minutes before we realized we were down to two lunch bags so we said goodbye with the intention to meet up with the rest of the group to get more. We continued walking only to stop a few steps later where we met Greg, who was grateful for an extra bag of chips, something in his eyes and his thanks let me know that he needed it more than I’ll ever know. We chatted with Bala, Tony and Jim, three guys having a nice and easy conversation about working for what you want.  They reminisced on different parts of their life and bickered the way a couple would, you could see that it didn’t matter where they were, they had each other’s’ back, that’s what you call community.

Lesson 6: In the eyes and the energy you can sense gratitude. Sometimes you never know what impact a person can make on you and what impact you can make on them.  

Lesson 7: True communities are formed through understanding of a common experience, we cannot fake community due to location only but we must share something in common or at least share understanding.

We met back up with the group and exchanged stories and experiences, everyone smiled, you could see their hearts were filled and so was mine. Each of us touched by the experience and forever changed. Thank you to Compassion in Motion and 4 Accents for the partnership, Thank you to ShawnnaMelonTV for coming up with Small Change Big impact and a huge thank you to Lobely, Diyanah, Alicia, Randell, Shawnna, Odain and Noah for working together to give back.20170820_143757

Lastly and lesson 8 of this experience is that I am super thankful for being able to give  and to have, Thank you God, my spirit squad  and the universe for making this possible and pairing me with the best people to share compassion.

 

Stay tuned because there will be another!

Dating is about you, show up or stop looking. — August 9, 2017

Dating is about you, show up or stop looking.

Over two long relationships, dating here and there, run in’s with the devil and the perfect match. I can share a little bit about the realities of dating. Here’s six points to never forget that this process is completely about you partly illustrated by the animal kingdom.

One

There is no need to find someone by being what you think they are seeking. The person who wants to be with you accepts you as you are, they see the light in you before it’s turned on and they accept the version of you as they accept themselves as forever changing and forever growing. Dating can be one dimensional (just about sex or cuddles) but that has to be accepted by you and those involved. But when dating is about courtship and meeting someone you want to be in a relationship with then games and pretending won’t cut it. Be yourself every step of the way.

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Two

Recognize your worth and that you are worthy. You deserve the perfect match because that perfection is what you choose to manifest. You don’ t have to settle for less to be in a relationship, but if you want to speed up the process, start perfecting yourself in the sense that you work diligently to become your best self. Who you meet will be the best version of you, if you too, are working on being the best version of yourself.

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Three

Compromises no longer holds weight in the courtship process the way Steve Harvey would tell you. Courtship is not a compromise it’s an acceptance. Compromising yourself for the sake of “romance” means you also find yourself unacceptable or unsuitable for romance so why then are you trying to partner up. The reality is our true selves always makes its way out no matter how hard we try to push it down or cover it up. In the smallest and slightest of habits and actions, who you are will always be known. Compromising that self only delays who will eventually become known. Let them see who you are from beginning to end. Compromise may have a place somewhere in the world but when it comes to showing others who you are it doesn’t.

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Compromise? No thanks!

Four

Seek a partner for the connection not for the marriage. Simply put, marriage will last as long a connection does; pushing beyond the existence of a connection stops both of you from being who you were meant to be and stops the marriage from being true – yes it is now a lie. Marriage is a beautiful thing it’s also an outcome to many when it too, is a part of the process of creating union to infinity and beyond! Your connection in the courting process trumps everything including marriage because then you can fully be present and immerse yourself in the love that comes naturally as you connect to yourself and others. Marriage will come when it is meant to, do not force what is not meant to fit, your time will come if it was meant to come. Detach yourself from the belief that you are legitimate once married, hold your legitimacy in your heart and connect to those who truly feel you, marriage could be the result or maybe it’s just time to connect.

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Five

They will see how important you are based on the priority you give to yourself. We all have obligations and needs but no need is stronger than the need to be your own number one priority, kids or no kids. The parent is not selfish for taking a break from their baby, they know the love won’t stop by stepping away. You date to meet your match in intelligence, in spirit, in love and in importance. The respect of you comes with the recognition that you have a purpose to be fulfilled and that, that purpose is so powerful I just can’t wait to see you fill it. You will look at them the same way. Dating sees you completely in tune with the power that is within you. Don’t try to capture that power by asking for all the attention; give space or support to help their power expand and vice versa. We are equally important, but let the importance you place on yourself enable your light to shine so bright that the stars recognize you.

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Six

You do not date to be needed or to make someone feel needed, that is not good energy. The one you connect with doesn’t need you and you don’t need them either. Need is not love, my love. Need is forcing energy in one direction when it is always free flowing. You date to meet your complement so your exchange of energy flows so freely you can’t believe you were hung up on this and that. You realize quickly that should doesn’t exist because it just is. I see you as complete in your being and you see me the same, we accept that we can support, assist and help each other but we also accept that we got this on our own if you are not with me. Say the word need and say the word complement, even the form of your face recognizes the distinction between the energy. Remember need isn’t suggesting you can prance around yelling I don’t need a this or that, it’s simply about standing in your certainty that you are capable and able, free flowing energetically and fully prepared to be with your complement.

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I hope this challenged your thinking about dating. I was always thinking about it but when I started to feel, the above became foundations for finally being able to meet truly amazing people.

The Lesson in Being Distracted — August 2, 2017

The Lesson in Being Distracted

When I first wrote this piece in March (only to revisit it four months later) it came as I was putting together furniture and allowing my mind to wander. Sitting in deep thought, I was reminded that time need not be wasted on things that do not matter. When we give time to something it’s because it usually holds importance or we want to see it grow, whether little or big giving time to all distractions simply take us away from our purpose and life path. When the aha moment hit I remember writing so earnestly knowing I needed to get this blog out, what happened after was likely a tango with distraction. We have all sorts of names for the things that “tempt” us, we call it the devil, the ego, negative thinking,  sins and what not but my bottom line is that it’s simply a distraction, but I definitely respect what you call it..

I had an ant problem when I moved in. There were a few ants here and there but I made it into an issue, I talked about it every chance I got and then I made a Pinterest Board on screenshot_20170802-150234.pnghow to get rid of it, I cleaned everyday literally sweeping and wiping the floors 3 or 4 times, all the while I’m saying to myself, this is not the problem. I even said this out loud every time I would look down at the ants knowing I’m making this “issue” bigger than what it is. The truth is, as soon as I set down these borax and sugar saturated cotton balls, the ant problem practically disappeared. It took 5 minutes to set up and nothing to clean and I continued putting furniture together, writing regularly and working on what would become my website.

Occasionally I would see an ant that I’d let get away, but for some reason the little voice ego said “don’t! It will build a colony” but my knowing was clear in stating “one ant? No problem!” The more I stayed on track the less distraction there seemed to be but for multiple reasons.

First of all spending time with something that does not serve my highest good creates more space for additional things that do not serve my highest good. Ants are not the problem, but my obsession with having a problem creates… Say it with me! MORE PROBLEMS!

Secondly, I hadn’t looked at the fact that my living room, my bedroom and washroom were ant free, I only saw a kitchen full of ants (which it was not) because I accepted the ant reality as the only reality, I saw so much wrong, I could never see what was right and that was the only thing I was looking for.  When you look for something, you will ALWAYS find it. To be clear, there isn’t a sometimes, you will ALWAYS find whatever you are looking for! I’m going to continue to see ants as long as that’s all I’m looking for.

The biggest lesson in this experience of distraction was coming to a further 

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I finally get it! 

understanding of the ways our ego works. The Ego is the illusionary self that seeks to encourage us to turn only to ourselves, away from the creator and others. The ego is powerful in distracting us from the things to keep us in our light, meaning to remove us from our purpose and life path. Whenever I’m working towards my dream I know how powerful it is and that it will lead to the fortunes I want and I am worthy of, in the grandest and holistic, all encompassing sense. But the Ego tells me that  I don’t truly want to be in my light, I don’t truly deserve those riches, and I should be afraid to go for it because. So instead of focusing on the goal, there I was focused on the Ants. The Ego is a part of us so it knows what could work to distract us and that is why it’s so important to be in alignment with our light and life path so we have the strength to overcome the measly distractions.

So after much time being in alignment, I noticed recently, I couldn’t seem to get it together, my wrist started to hurt, everyone I knew wanted to go out for lunch , dinner or coffee, the long weekend was coming up and I felt overwhelmed with very dense energy and could not get it together. I also started to see ants again and I was definitely not working on any new creative pieces. The ego knows what works best to remove me from my light, it took one coffee for me to open the door to say I’m always available and slow my process of becoming what I dreamed of. So here now revisiting this piece it forced me to stop and assess my life for the distractions I’m giving time to and enabling. My current distraction is people and the choice I made was to allow them to come in and out as they please which is where I gave time and space to be distracted.

In some ways this piece was a letter to my future and maybe yours too, I hope you get the chance to be in your awareness enough to see the distractions as they come up and make the choice to stay aligned. Lots of Love and lots of Light I send to you all in staying on your path and fulfilling your purpose. 

 

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We are Perfect. Here’s why. — July 20, 2017

We are Perfect. Here’s why.

There are three levels of thinking when it comes to the concept of perfection. But before that I need to get through the fact that society has a very different understanding of what it means than the spirit does. The move towards perfection is not stating we are an ideal or the “standard” of what society tells us we are to be. Instead it’s about knowing oneself and being the love that you are. At this stage we recognize there are no flaws and we have always been perfect but never saw that we were created as perfect by the hands of the creator.

For most of us life began at the perfect stage until guilt, shame, fear, misdirected anger and some other things became tools to determine who is worth more or less than others. We eventually internalized this and started believing that we really were imperfect from the beginning until the very end. There are three areas society has moved through when thinking about perfection: Perfect, Being imperfect is perfect, and no one is perfect, each coming from a good place but ultimately perfection is what we should internalize.

Society told us the story of what constitutes to normal, the story of standards and right fit. No one is perfect came from a place where we understood that most of us could not conform or meet the high standards of society and therefore there is no such thing as perfect. While this statement was meant to empower us to not hold others to impossible standards 20170415_162709and to accept them as they are, in many ways we blanketed the reality that we are in fact perfect. We covered up much of the behaviours and habits that were no longer serving us because we believed that perfect was impossible, soon becoming more of an excuse.

Eventually we began to see how the “no one is perfect” mentality stopped serving our highest good and we moved forward to where I think most of us stand today: being imperfect is perfect. No one is perfect doesn’t quite fit anymore because why can’t we be perfect as we are? Our differences in behaviours are not flaws, rather our perfections. Screw the standard, I am the standard!  We’re mostly here now because we’ve learned that perfect is achievable and that our “flaws” and differences in behaviour are part of the “imperfect package”. Although this mentality welcomes and accepts differences, it becomes a sort of blanket statement for seeing yourself as perfect without understanding the depth of it which ultimately minimizes our ability to integrate our higher selves into ourselves. The key here is remembering that your thoughts become you.

Perfect as a mindset and in embodiment is where we are moving to, despite the scariness and impossibility we’ve ascribed to it. The soul is perfect, our higher selves are perfect so once we decide to integrate our higher self with our ‘selves’ then we become perfect. Even with the difficulties along our journey and the behaviours that fall out of line with our higher selves these things exist as teachers and guidance for us to learn from. As aspects of the creator and as beings of love and light, we are the manifestation of perfection and to suggest that there is an imperfect component suggests that the creator is also imperfect. We cannot achieve perfection without knowing that we are.

The thinking that ‘no one is perfect’ started in the right place but to maintain it as a mentality will forever reduce our ability to be who we truly are and to embody the perfection that exist in us as soulful beings.