CONNECT.CREATE.EXPLORE

Life practice and stuff.

Dating is about you, show up or stop looking. — August 9, 2017

Dating is about you, show up or stop looking.

Over two long relationships, dating here and there, run in’s with the devil and the perfect match. I can share a little bit about the realities of dating. Here’s six points to never forget that this process is completely about you partly illustrated by the animal kingdom.

One

There is no need to find someone by being what you think they are seeking. The person who wants to be with you accepts you as you are, they see the light in you before it’s turned on and they accept the version of you as they accept themselves as forever changing and forever growing. Dating can be one dimensional (just about sex or cuddles) but that has to be accepted by you and those involved. But when dating is about courtship and meeting someone you want to be in a relationship with then games and pretending won’t cut it. Be yourself every step of the way.

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Two

Recognize your worth and that you are worthy. You deserve the perfect match because that perfection is what you choose to manifest. You don’ t have to settle for less to be in a relationship, but if you want to speed up the process, start perfecting yourself in the sense that you work diligently to become your best self. Who you meet will be the best version of you, if you too, are working on being the best version of yourself.

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Three

Compromises no longer holds weight in the courtship process the way Steve Harvey would tell you. Courtship is not a compromise it’s an acceptance. Compromising yourself for the sake of “romance” means you also find yourself unacceptable or unsuitable for romance so why then are you trying to partner up. The reality is our true selves always makes its way out no matter how hard we try to push it down or cover it up. In the smallest and slightest of habits and actions, who you are will always be known. Compromising that self only delays who will eventually become known. Let them see who you are from beginning to end. Compromise may have a place somewhere in the world but when it comes to showing others who you are it doesn’t.

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Compromise? No thanks!

Four

Seek a partner for the connection not for the marriage. Simply put, marriage will last as long a connection does; pushing beyond the existence of a connection stops both of you from being who you were meant to be and stops the marriage from being true – yes it is now a lie. Marriage is a beautiful thing it’s also an outcome to many when it too, is a part of the process of creating union to infinity and beyond! Your connection in the courting process trumps everything including marriage because then you can fully be present and immerse yourself in the love that comes naturally as you connect to yourself and others. Marriage will come when it is meant to, do not force what is not meant to fit, your time will come if it was meant to come. Detach yourself from the belief that you are legitimate once married, hold your legitimacy in your heart and connect to those who truly feel you, marriage could be the result or maybe it’s just time to connect.

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Five

They will see how important you are based on the priority you give to yourself. We all have obligations and needs but no need is stronger than the need to be your own number one priority, kids or no kids. The parent is not selfish for taking a break from their baby, they know the love won’t stop by stepping away. You date to meet your match in intelligence, in spirit, in love and in importance. The respect of you comes with the recognition that you have a purpose to be fulfilled and that, that purpose is so powerful I just can’t wait to see you fill it. You will look at them the same way. Dating sees you completely in tune with the power that is within you. Don’t try to capture that power by asking for all the attention; give space or support to help their power expand and vice versa. We are equally important, but let the importance you place on yourself enable your light to shine so bright that the stars recognize you.

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Six

You do not date to be needed or to make someone feel needed, that is not good energy. The one you connect with doesn’t need you and you don’t need them either. Need is not love, my love. Need is forcing energy in one direction when it is always free flowing. You date to meet your complement so your exchange of energy flows so freely you can’t believe you were hung up on this and that. You realize quickly that should doesn’t exist because it just is. I see you as complete in your being and you see me the same, we accept that we can support, assist and help each other but we also accept that we got this on our own if you are not with me. Say the word need and say the word complement, even the form of your face recognizes the distinction between the energy. Remember need isn’t suggesting you can prance around yelling I don’t need a this or that, it’s simply about standing in your certainty that you are capable and able, free flowing energetically and fully prepared to be with your complement.

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I hope this challenged your thinking about dating. I was always thinking about it but when I started to feel, the above became foundations for finally being able to meet truly amazing people.

We are Perfect. Here’s why. — July 20, 2017

We are Perfect. Here’s why.

There are three levels of thinking when it comes to the concept of perfection. But before that I need to get through the fact that society has a very different understanding of what it means than the spirit does. The move towards perfection is not stating we are an ideal or the “standard” of what society tells us we are to be. Instead it’s about knowing oneself and being the love that you are. At this stage we recognize there are no flaws and we have always been perfect but never saw that we were created as perfect by the hands of the creator.

For most of us life began at the perfect stage until guilt, shame, fear, misdirected anger and some other things became tools to determine who is worth more or less than others. We eventually internalized this and started believing that we really were imperfect from the beginning until the very end. There are three areas society has moved through when thinking about perfection: Perfect, Being imperfect is perfect, and no one is perfect, each coming from a good place but ultimately perfection is what we should internalize.

Society told us the story of what constitutes to normal, the story of standards and right fit. No one is perfect came from a place where we understood that most of us could not conform or meet the high standards of society and therefore there is no such thing as perfect. While this statement was meant to empower us to not hold others to impossible standards 20170415_162709and to accept them as they are, in many ways we blanketed the reality that we are in fact perfect. We covered up much of the behaviours and habits that were no longer serving us because we believed that perfect was impossible, soon becoming more of an excuse.

Eventually we began to see how the “no one is perfect” mentality stopped serving our highest good and we moved forward to where I think most of us stand today: being imperfect is perfect. No one is perfect doesn’t quite fit anymore because why can’t we be perfect as we are? Our differences in behaviours are not flaws, rather our perfections. Screw the standard, I am the standard!  We’re mostly here now because we’ve learned that perfect is achievable and that our “flaws” and differences in behaviour are part of the “imperfect package”. Although this mentality welcomes and accepts differences, it becomes a sort of blanket statement for seeing yourself as perfect without understanding the depth of it which ultimately minimizes our ability to integrate our higher selves into ourselves. The key here is remembering that your thoughts become you.

Perfect as a mindset and in embodiment is where we are moving to, despite the scariness and impossibility we’ve ascribed to it. The soul is perfect, our higher selves are perfect so once we decide to integrate our higher self with our ‘selves’ then we become perfect. Even with the difficulties along our journey and the behaviours that fall out of line with our higher selves these things exist as teachers and guidance for us to learn from. As aspects of the creator and as beings of love and light, we are the manifestation of perfection and to suggest that there is an imperfect component suggests that the creator is also imperfect. We cannot achieve perfection without knowing that we are.

The thinking that ‘no one is perfect’ started in the right place but to maintain it as a mentality will forever reduce our ability to be who we truly are and to embody the perfection that exist in us as soulful beings.

Why you don’t look for anything in the dark — July 12, 2017

Why you don’t look for anything in the dark

There’s nothing as profound as the moment you do something tedious or utterly stupid only to discover one key message of the universe. Yesterday I was leaving my house and as usual I picked up my key, walked through the pitch black garage in order to leave through the side door. I’ve done this numerous times without thinking, knowing every step and turn to take, but this time I dropped my key.  Garage’s have all sorts of critters so understand I was very hesitant to rest my hand flat on the floor to feel for the keys, so I lifted my hand slightly above the floor to air-feel for them. After about 12 seconds, I thought to myself, why don’t I just turn on the lights? But I didn’t I just continued air-feeling for the keys. Another 14 seconds passed and I was now feeling that if I stretch my hands further I would surely touch something I don’t want to feel.  Another 10 seconds in what felt like a never-ending search for my keys and as I said “I’m just going to turn on the light”, I felt it. As I stood up and opened the side door, a burst of sunlight entered the garage and I thought to myself. This is why you don’t look for anything in the dark!

As I said that I smiled heavily, feeling the pulse of the greatest revelation going through my body and understanding the simplest power we have access to: light. We have so much of it, endlessly beaming into our lives that we almost forget it’s there and that it is infinite. There’s nothing to lose when you  choose to access the unlimited light of the creator of the universe, yet I seemed to have believed the opposite when searching for my keys. Very simply, we must turn on the light to see what may be inside even if it means taking an extra step to find the light switch

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What if you can’t see the light or the switch?

Before seeing, we know. Have faith in yourself  the way you would have faith in navigating your bedroom to find the light switch or to know the light is there,  and you will be able to turn it on. Souls operate from knowing first and perception second, so go into your knowing, see the light inside of you and you will see your way out of the dark space you sometimes find yourself in. Without light there can only be darkness and it extends as long as you’re willing to keep it that way. Similarly it will be impossible to find yourself as long as you choose to remain in the dark. In such case you must ask the universe to ignite the flame if you feel it has somehow gone away and from there, use your heart and your God given power to fan the flame. Let it take over you and eventually you will see exactly what you are and who you were meant to be.

And that’s why we don’t look for anything in the dark including ourselves.

Our Real-Time Experience of Meditation with Dela Dorkenoo — July 1, 2017

Our Real-Time Experience of Meditation with Dela Dorkenoo

In my first ever collaboration blog I share the stage with Dela Dorkenoo.  Interestingly we have not met but it is clear that our thoughts are aligned. This piece focuses on the experience of Meditation from two perspectives, one self identifying male, one self identifying female, one in first person and the other as a narrative. However we wrote, we received each others work with fondness in each other’s ability to capture the duality of meditation, actually we have captured the universality of meditation since so much came out of both of our experiences. Not only are Dela and I sharing the stage but we’re also exposing our meditative process revealing something deeper than what you’ve seen in our regular work. We hope you enjoy!

I just finished my own version of a 15 minute yoga routine… I’m ready to meditate, I sit down with my legs crossed as the incense continues to burn. Respectfully I ask the universe to understand I will take breaks throughout my meditation to write down what20170701_163045 I am feeling; I continue. I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths, in through my nose and out through my mouth but on the third breath I realize they were quite shallow so I intentionally breathe into my lower stomach and out through my mouth. The thought comes maybe I can do a Yoga  collaboration with Elle Lyon since I know her and we can sit down and plan and figure out how to make it a worthy collaboration. Ugh I’m straying again, refocus Mel. I breathe in again, into my lower stomach and I let out a low tone of hm. A thought crosses my mind of the first text from this morning and my response, maybe I should have said hello before responding, I hope she doesn’t think I was being rude, and then the address 4 beechgrove crosses my mind as I remember sending it out randomly to one person on Tinder. I close my eyes,  in the front of me I see the wavering of the yellow and orangey presence, I don’t really know what to call it but it’s the sure sign that I’m settling in. I laugh and open my eyes “your funny” and I go back into the meditation. I continue breathing in through my mouth into my lower stomach, this time the wavering is light and uncoloured.  I straighten my back a bit but it hurts since I’m used to slouching. I ask gently in my head for my guides and Angels to be with me, then I change my words to please join me and I sense one on each side putting their hand on my shoulder and ahead of me I see a diamond of white, it moves slightly to form a tree, but more of a geometric tree. I ask where do I want to go today, the answer is “up”. Up where? “The spaceship” I can see the white, faint red and yellow beam coming from above. But I want to stay present. “Okay” and the sun’s covered by the cloud so it actually gets a little darker but not bad dark. I open my eyes to check and its exactly what I thought. I close my eyes and now I’m able to be nothing to see and think nothing, there is ledge of colours in the shape of the edge of a square and I see nothing in the box but space, open space. I see then a swirl of white light and feel it spiral through my centre a small spiral around my heart reaching down to my root, and I say thank you. Then a larger wider white spiral of light spirals around my head and I see one angel rest her head on my shoulders in comfort and in support.  I see my myself floating in a beam of light from above kind of just enjoying the feeling of floating, and my body feels its lightness as bits of me start joining the floating me. I affirm I am in safety. As the white light still surrounds my head and I’m seeing myself float, in the left corner of what I can see ahead, there is an opening of a portal through which a yellow sunlight is breaking through. This light coming through almost like a light through a prism shows itself and I’m a little worried what this is, I have not encountered it before, but I also just affirmed I’m in safety and my guides and angels are with me. As this light gets closer this yellow comes and hits me gently and transforms into beautiful hues of purple, yellow, bright vibrant purple, oranges,  greens and indigo,  all colours of the rainbow in a dim light but blossoming like a lotus flower and gently brushing my hair to the side as mothers would do to their child in comfort. The blossoming continues across my body across my mind, big waves of colour across me; they continue to go across me. And there goes this big one encompassing all the colours but so thin its similar to the line of the sun showing on an eclipse and it makes a full 360 as if to close the filling of me with the radiance I need to move forward. I paused to write that and I got the message to go back and close. I closed my eyes one more time, and I say thank you guides, thank you angels and as I say thank you Mother earth, she smiles and it gets bright around me, I think the cloud moved out the way of her outside. I look ahead and my angels are in front the first is a girl who has a small face, and says from my heart to yours touching my heart in the way you would donate something to another, and the next angel follows, then my first guide does the same and touches my heart, and then Malcolm crosses my mind he smiles from my heart to yours. And I look up to see my Ancestars smiling and my people from away smiling. I say thank you God, and he nods in affirmation, and one of the angels flies back up. I start to tear up and I open my eyes. Thank you.

Background on Malcolm: I’ve only met Malcolm once in my life it was a random day where I worked late and I went to Sobeys to pick up some meat for my ex’s mom to cook for an event. I was stopped while in the frozen section by an older white man with white hair and a white beard wearing a vest with a crest suggesting he just put this on to go out to the store. Malcolm stopped in front my cart and said, I want you to know that you are very beautiful. I’m not use to that so automatically I was like “thank you”but in confusion, and he said you truly are beautiful and I want you to know that you are amazing and you are okay.  He continued speaking to me for some time explaining that occasionally he will bump into someone and he just has a message for them and its happens more frequently now but today he saw me and he knew he had something to tell me. I was all ears but also in tears the further he went into speaking. He spoke about whether I was planning to get married and told me If I ask the person if they are willing to be servant to me completely and they hesitate, than that is not a person I want to marry and if I hesitate then the same goes for me. I cried even more because that was the ongoing battle in my head since the break-up. Malcolm continued to speak and at a point he now says, this is a message from your guides they are telling me to tell you this now and he says you do not need to worry, you do not need anyone if you want to be married that is okay but you also will be okay on your own, you are good enough. I balled right there in the middle of Sobeys and then I said thank you. We hugged and he left, I didn’t see him for the rest of my time in Sobeys, even though I was there for another 20 minutes.

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When I shut my eyes and meditate, my mind takes my higher self into any space or place that my physical body wouldn’t be able to go or handle. Before my meditation, my body is a space station, getting ready to blast my mind, higher self vessel into a spiritual realm. The time is for my higher self to expand and practise expression but I’m still simultaneously conscious of my physical body. One can’t exist with the other, so complete separation can only mean one thing which is death.

When I close my eyes, I instantly take off from 0-100 and I turn off my sense of time. I think about where I need to be and just teleport. Now when I take off I have unlimited destinations I can choose, if I can imagine it I’ll be there. I could be deep underwater at the earths crust. I imagine the weight of the water that would crush any physical being that deep. I imagine my breathing like a fish and how the water temperature would feel at that depth.

I could be in the sky, suspended in mid air with either a thunderstorm, snow storm or clear sunny sky. Whatever the condition, I make it as real as possible. I visualize the rain beating on my body, the snow smacking on me building up or the heat of the rays from the sun. The sun is another place I visit. I manifest myself inside the sun as if I was part of the core. Everything around me is bright and hot and I feel the vibration waves of the suns rays that are traveling outwards. I envision the natural elements as much as possible whatever the condition.

I also try to stay in first person as well, how I see the world in the physical realm is how I try to navigate the spiritual, meditative realm. My biggest hurdle was staying focused with no distractions when I first started meditating years ago. I still swerve of course from time to time but I can meditate for extended periods without distractions carrying off and thinking about these natural conditions helps.

Staying in first person has been very challenging. I don’t like looking at my higher self from a third person view, I AM my higher self so I feel like my entire meditation as my higher self must be done in first person. Sometimes I go back and forth from being my higher self and looking at my higher self. Sometimes I have several “multi-screens” One as first person, another watching my higher being and another watching my grounded physical in whatever location I’m in. One way I try to reinforce first person and get rid of the screens is looking down or towards my physical self meditating if I am in a position where I can look and zoom down. This also reinforces the physical being connected with the spiritual.

On more thing is sound, if there is some type of noise in my surroundings I drown it down with my thoughts. I always try to keep it as quite as possible but sometimes you hear cars, animals or even commotion outside. If I meditate outside I do the same thing, I don’t shut it off and let it fade into background noise. I find that if you try to shut the noise off, which is impossible, you end up distracting yourself, so I let it be. If its silence, I tune into the frequency of the silence. The main point is that my thoughts and imagery stay the loudest.

My favourite place to take my higher self into is the universe. Suspended among the stars, sun, moon and dark matter. From this position, I can really look down at myself on earth. We speak things out into the universe which picks up the vibrations. What better place to meditate in other than that same universe and bring meditative vibrations straight to the source….

Now whatever location my higher self settles in, I usually reflect on my life and being. Problems, challenges but also the solutions, successes and positives as well. I’m not beating myself up in my higher state I’m just checking myself. If my vibrations feel low, I clear my chakras to raise them back to normal. If my vibrations feel high or it’s a second meditation of the day (I don’t often do), I go through a concentration technique and keep distractions out for as long as possible. I focus on something, the ocean pulling back and forth, the rays of the sun traveling. I focus on this one image until I feel spiritually full and ready to move on. The main goal is to keep distractions out and re-center myself if they seep in.

Another concentration technique is I charge my higher self, which is usually my last part of mediation. I envision this charge as an electric magnetic charge that comes from my nerves. It travels and safely electrocutes every part of matter of my higher and physical self. It energizes my existence and rids my mind body and spirit of negative thoughts and emotions. I visualize my aura expanding as far and wide I can imagine it.

These charges help transform my higher self into pure energy, pure light, pure dark matter, pure gas, pure darkness, pure electricity or a combination of everything. I do this for any amount of time before I get distracted. If I do and don’t feel charged, I re -center myself and restart the charge. Whenever I get off course I centre myself and continue. I either use this charge to continue reflection on my being, or come back to the physical 100-0 when I open my eyes. It’s not about separating the physical from the spiritual, that’s the definition of death. This is time for my spirit to live free.

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I thought the sage and Palo Santo were an appropriate picture to place at the beginning and end of this piece, as it’s used to clear a space of energy that no longer serves us and through each meditation I feel that’s exactly what’s being done. Please check out Dela’s blog at http://blackdollars.ca/ Thank you.

A Conversation between Man and Spirit. — June 27, 2017

A Conversation between Man and Spirit.

This piece came to me several months ago as I was discovering how amazing this world truly is. My mind raced for the words to do a short write-up of what I was feeling but instead it came out as a conversation. I left this for many weeks before I came back to it, I barely remembered what I wrote, but surely enough it sparked the reminder in me that we are, as I am, as the universe is… Perfect.

Human: Why is life such a struggle?

Spirit: It doesn’t have to be, but we choose to make it that way.

Human: Look around! Everyone’s out here struggling to survive! Why would anyone possibly want to live in a world of turmoil what good can come of this!

Spirit: In the everyday, physical sense it appears to be a struggle, it even appears to be imperfect. But in many ways this is just a part of the process. Things may feel like they’ve gone astray but in the same token, we could not come full circle if it weren’t for the progressions and “regressions” that make this world move.

Human: I know what I see… There’s nothing perfect about it.

Spirit: You know what you see, but you know little of what you feel.

Human: I know the facts

Spirit: And I ask you to go beyond that.

Human: There isn’t anything beyond the facts! What else is there to look for? We exist here and now in a terrible world of chaos and struggle, it’s all right before your eyes.

Spirit: Your soul lives beyond this local, it travels, it wanders, it searches for answers and understanding, it seeks to replenish and to reconnect what was lost or what it feels is missing. It seeks its permanent and rightful place as one with source. Isn’t that what we’re all searching for?

Human: I seek security and safety…

Spirit: And who else could provide that in this world but source? Who else can provide that in spirit but source?

Human: I’m going by what I see and what exists here, I know what I know and I am well-informed about what is in front of me. Humans need security to survive, those are the facts.

Spirit: You are well-informed by misinformation, but poorly informed about your actual situation. Yes you exist here on Earth and believe it or not you actually know quite a bit, but your lack of willingness to know all, has led you to accept you can only know some, believing this is all.

The world is beyond your distorted or caged vision. If you seek knowing t

han you need to open yourself up to what exists beyond physical intelligence and seek to know all intelligence.

Human: You speak in parables

Spirit: And you speak fables, looking only to satisfy the immediate and short-lived pleasure of having a sense of security knowing little as fact, but feeling like the fact is all you need to know.

Human: I know enough, I know enough.

Spirit: And that is enough to create the false sense of knowing. The ego can be a powerful thing.